![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tilly_stratfordWow, that... that's starting to smart quite a bit. And I never realized just how quickly you can grow bored of the taste of your own blood.
So! Eyecandy movie picspam to divert my attention! Let's see what auntie Tilly's got her wandering hands on this time... Why, it's the first half of The Brothers Karamazov from 1958!
And who's the eyecandy?
And that's the first half of the movie. Why didn't I include the other half, you ask? Because I can't get hold of it - the second file was corrupted, and the movie isn't released on DVD, strangely enough (which is also why you see that sexy little TCM mark in the corner).
What happens next? IT IS A MYSTERY.
So! Eyecandy movie picspam to divert my attention! Let's see what auntie Tilly's got her wandering hands on this time... Why, it's the first half of The Brothers Karamazov from 1958!
And who's the eyecandy?
In the role of our reckless young man-about-town Dmitri Karamazov -
Yul Brynner! Only the sexiest bald-headed guy in the universe, always ready to apply eyeliner when called upon.
Our man Dmitri's betrothed to the innocent yet immensely rich girl Katya -
Claire Bloom, who for some strange reason hasn't aged at all since she was in Chaplin's Limelight.
But Dmitri, poor fool, is obsessively in love with theprostitute tavern owner Grushenka -
As played by Maria Schell, who I've never heard of before but MY GOD IS SHE BEAUTIFUL.
Aaaand running back and forth trying to set things right is the virginal monk Alexi Karamazov, as portrayed byyy...
THE SHAT IN A WIG. Yesssss. First movie role, baby. Twenty-seven years old and cute as a button. (Legend has it he won the role because the producer thought he had good cheek bones)
Where were we - yes, the titular brothers. There's also Ivan Karamazov -
or Richard Basehart, who fills the niche of "older, suave and strangely charming character". Who's Richard Basehart? Only the voice you've heard introducing the Knight Rider in ever single episode intro, baby!
...Aaand finally there's the potential half-brother who isn't pretty enough to be included here. Also the only character in the entire movie WHO SPICKS EEN A ROOSHAN ACCINT. What.
Oh yeah, and there's a plot. Mind you, I've never read the book and as we speak I'm doped up on sedatives and pain-killers, so let's do a quick runthrough of what I've learned.
IN TSARIST RUSSIA...
...there's a dancing bear in every tavern and no one cares.
Guys? There's a LIVE BEAR in the room? Guys?
...the women are just so goshdarned grateful for not being raped they immediately want to marry you.
...the snow appears to be made of paper.
...everybody, unless they're old or epileptic, are attractive as whoa.
EVERYBODY.
...Katya and Grushenka should totally get it on. TOTALLY. If Grushenka wasn't such a bitch, that is.
...oh yeah, and nobody pronounces the names the same way. Ah-lex-ey, Alek-say, Alex-see.
Yul Brynner! Only the sexiest bald-headed guy in the universe, always ready to apply eyeliner when called upon.
Our man Dmitri's betrothed to the innocent yet immensely rich girl Katya -
Claire Bloom, who for some strange reason hasn't aged at all since she was in Chaplin's Limelight.
But Dmitri, poor fool, is obsessively in love with the
As played by Maria Schell, who I've never heard of before but MY GOD IS SHE BEAUTIFUL.
Aaaand running back and forth trying to set things right is the virginal monk Alexi Karamazov, as portrayed byyy...
THE SHAT IN A WIG. Yesssss. First movie role, baby. Twenty-seven years old and cute as a button. (Legend has it he won the role because the producer thought he had good cheek bones)
Where were we - yes, the titular brothers. There's also Ivan Karamazov -
or Richard Basehart, who fills the niche of "older, suave and strangely charming character". Who's Richard Basehart? Only the voice you've heard introducing the Knight Rider in ever single episode intro, baby!
...Aaand finally there's the potential half-brother who isn't pretty enough to be included here. Also the only character in the entire movie WHO SPICKS EEN A ROOSHAN ACCINT. What.
Oh yeah, and there's a plot. Mind you, I've never read the book and as we speak I'm doped up on sedatives and pain-killers, so let's do a quick runthrough of what I've learned.
IN TSARIST RUSSIA...
...there's a dancing bear in every tavern and no one cares.
Guys? There's a LIVE BEAR in the room? Guys?
...the women are just so goshdarned grateful for not being raped they immediately want to marry you.
...the snow appears to be made of paper.
...everybody, unless they're old or epileptic, are attractive as whoa.
EVERYBODY.
...Katya and Grushenka should totally get it on. TOTALLY. If Grushenka wasn't such a bitch, that is.
...oh yeah, and nobody pronounces the names the same way. Ah-lex-ey, Alek-say, Alex-see.
And that's the first half of the movie. Why didn't I include the other half, you ask? Because I can't get hold of it - the second file was corrupted, and the movie isn't released on DVD, strangely enough (which is also why you see that sexy little TCM mark in the corner).
What happens next? IT IS A MYSTERY.
