The clearing of the throat

[tilly_stratford]

Yes I believe but I'd rather not pray
What I believe in I'd rather not say baby
Did your God show you the door
Well I'm here to eat your apple to the core

My arms. Have. Fallen off. I have walked back and forth across the town picking up big parcels at the post office with things I couldn't get on the train, my Christmas toys mostly. And with a new laptop I can finally play Neverwinter Nights: Shadows of the Undrentide. Half-elven fighter, baby. I'm limiting myself to one hour per day.

Funny I should speak of arm loss, really. I had a really bad nightmare last night, the sort you wake up from with a jolt. A gigantic alligator ripped off my arm. Sure, that was bad in itself, but the worst thing was that no one cared, I was forced to tend to my empty arm socket spurting blood all by myself.

Don't you dare try to psychoanalyze me. I've got a weird phobia of sea monsters, that's all there is to it.

Anyway, voice post meme time!



I haven't had to talk English in any great detail for so long. I know I sound utterly bored, but that's just me concentrating to get my words right. And I sound utterly posh in the process too, don't I?

Not a quick thinker on my feet, me. Behold, five minutes of ers and uhms. Or rather øhs, which is the Norwegian equivalent.

Voice posts are fun, right? You get to hear funny accents if your friends are from far, far away. All we really want is to hear your voice, we don't care what you're saying. So here's a list of typical meme questions that would otherwise be boring, but when communicated aloud - well, it's entertaining. Answer these questions in your post, and encourage others with voice-posting abilities to do the same.

1) What's your name?
2) How old are you?
3) Where are you from? Are you living there right now?
4) Is it cold where you are?
5) What's the time?
6) What are you wearing?
7) What was the last thing you listened to?
8) What was the last thing you ate?
9) What was the last thing you watched on tv?
10) What's your favorite tv show? Why?
11) Quick! Find a book, or something with text on it! Flip to a random page and read some of it! GO!
12) What was the last movie you saw? How was it?
13) Do YOU think you have an accent? Talk about that.

That's probably the most embarassing thing I've ever posted to this blog. I hate my voice and lack of diction, ugh.

ETA: OH MANG I TOTALLY FORGOT THE MOST EXCITING QUESTION. About what time it is. Well, that's MY SECRET now, isn't it?!


Yes - Sherlock Holmes, Gene Kelly's bum and Daryl Hannah, all in one pointless sound file. This is is indeed your lucky day.

Come on, flist, I want to hear your lovely voices!

Comments

[tiny-cs.livejournal.com]

Oh my God! Aren’t we posh?! No, just kidding. I would never dare to do that (“nevha, nevah”), because, you know, my English is much more “Norwegian” than yours. You are so brave! “Don’t go daddy! Don’t go!”.

[tilly-stratford.livejournal.com]

"Errn herrn werrn herrn" said a posh person to me today.

But really, relistening to that sound file now, only a few hours after it was recorded, I can't believe I wasn't going for a comedy posh accent.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_grayswandir_/]

Ee! I'm so glad you did this, as I was really curious about your accent. From an American perspective, your English accent seems much stronger than your Norwegian accent; honestly if I'd met you without knowing where you were from, I'd have probably assumed you were English. (I'm glad you included some Norwegian, too, even though I've no idea what you said. I don't think I've ever met anyone else from Norway.)

Also, man, your flash player thing gives way clearer sound than the LJ Voice Post thing. It'd be nice if everyone could record themselves that clearly. :)

That's probably the most embarassing thing I've ever posted to this blog.

LOL. Yes, that's exactly what I thought after posting mine. I actually almost deleted it. Especially since I'm so embarrassed in the recording that I don't even sound like me, 'cause I keep pausing every, like, two words. :/

And the thing about naughty Three Musketeers films cracked me up. XD

[tilly-stratford.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the corny thing is how I jack up my Englishness to disguise the Norwegian accent, and end up with something that probably sounds preposterous to any British person. When I'm tired I've got a much clearer Norwegian accent, maybe I'll dare to record that once too.

Let's see, the part in Norwegian goes something like, "Hi, this is Tilde again. My voice probably sounds different when I'm speaking Norwegian. Er, yes. So. Greetings from Bergen in Norwegian." Like I said, not a quick thinker.

I hardly know anyone who enjoys listening to recordings of themselves, so I'd like to think people aren't actually laughing themselves sick over the sound of me talking.

I remember listening to a radio play I made for school when I when I was eighteen, and for the first time in my life I realized I've got a slight speech impediment (it's only there when I talk Norwegian, and it's probably because of my English mother having the same one). And nobody had ever mentioned it because they thought I was aware of it. So yes, voice recordings can be very odd.

And the thing about naughty Three Musketeers films cracked me up. XD

It's even funnier when you realize I spent about six months waiting to turn eighteen, wondering what in God's name was so naughty about that film.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_grayswandir_/]

I've noticed in voice recordings that I seem to have some kind of speech impediment, too, which I think is caused by my having had buck teeth as a kid (which I corrected with braces two years ago... and then stopped wearing my retainer, so now my teeth are rapidly going back to the way they were AGH :/).

It's weird how one doesn't notice these things when one's talking, but can hear them on a recording.